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23 June 2025

The Importance of Parental Self-Care

By Jody Pringle: Educational Psychologist at Bellavista S.H.A.R.E

Parenting is one of the most fulfilling yet demanding roles in life. From sleepless nights with newborns to navigating the emotional ups and downs of teenagers - raising children requires patience, resilience and an endless amount of love. But while caring for our children, many parents forget to take care of the most important person in their child's life - themselves.

Self-care often carries a stigma of being indulgent, but it is an absolute necessity. When parents prioritise their well-being, they are not only healthier and happier but also more present and effective in their parenting. Neglecting self-care, on the other hand, can lead to exhaustion, stress and even resentment - none of which benefit a family. A parent who takes time to recharge will likely find themselves more engaged and present during family moments, creating deeper bonds and lasting memories.

Why Taking Care of Yourself Helps Your Children

Leading by Example

Children learn by watching their parents. If they see you constantly stressed, running on fumes and never making time for yourself, they will likely grow up believing that self-care is unimportant. But if they see you taking time to recharge, set boundaries and manage stress in healthy ways, they will carry those habits into adulthood.

Staying Emotionally Present

Parenting requires an incredible amount of patience. But when you're running on empty, it is easy to snap at your kids, feel overwhelmed or even withdraw emotionally. When you take care of yourself- whether through a short walk, a deep breath or a moment of silence - you give yourself the ability to parent with more patience, love and understanding.

Avoiding Burnout

Burnout is real, and it can creep up on even the most dedicated parents. The exhaustion from constantly meeting everyone else's needs can leave you feeling emotionally drained and detached. Self-care is not just about relaxation; it is about maintaining the energy and motivation needed to be there for your kids in the long run.

Strengthening Family Bonds

When parents are physically and emotionally exhausted, their relationships, both with their children and their partners, suffer. Taking time for yourself fosters a more positive and nurturing home, making it easier to connect and build strong relationships with your loved ones.

Simple and Practical Ways to Practice Self-Care

Many parents say, "I don’t have time for self-care." But self-care does not have to mean extravagant spa days or long vacations. It is about small, intentional actions that help you feel balanced and whole.

Get Enough Rest

Sleep is one of the first things to be affected when you are a parent, but it is crucial for your well-being. Even if a full night's sleep is not possible, try napping when you can or setting a consistent bedtime routine.

Set Healthy Boundaries

You do not have to say "yes" to everything. Learning to say "no" to extra responsibilities or unrealistic expectations can help free up energy for what truly matters.

Take Five-Minute Breaks

Even a few minutes to yourself can make a difference. Step outside for fresh air, listen to your favourite song, stretch or simply close your eyes and breathe.

Stay Connected with Others

Parenting can sometimes feel isolating, but you do not have to do it alone. Reach out to friends, join a support group or simply have a chat with someone who understands.

Do Something You Love

When was the last time you did something just because it made you happy? Whether it is reading, painting, exercising or gardening, finding time for personal joy can make a huge difference in your overall well-being.

Ask for Help When Needed

If you are feeling overwhelmed, there is no shame in seeking support- whether from a partner, family member or therapist. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

One of the biggest hurdles to self-care is parental guilt. Many parents feel that taking time for themselves means they are neglecting their children. But the truth is, a happy, well-rested parent is far better than a stressed, exhausted one. You can’t pour from an empty cup- taking care of yourself allows you to give your best to your family.

When parents practice self-care, the entire family benefits. Children grow up in a home filled with love, patience and emotional stability. They learn the value of self-care and balance, setting them up for a healthier and happier future. Parenting is a journey filled with joy, challenges and constant learning. To be the best parent you can be, you must take care of yourself along the way. For more information and resources, visit www.bellavista.org.za